Cars I Do Hate. Vol 7.

"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch)
04/29/2017 at 10:01 • Filed to: Cars I Do Hate

This one gets saved for last, because its not just this one turd I hate. Its all of them.

The N body produced some of the least likable cars of my memory.

Malibu classic - nothing classic about this bu carried over as the “classic” when the Malibu moved to the epsilon platform JUST to serve rental fleets. I drove one of these for a few years off and on and truthfully even though it was a step up, I preferred the smaller corollas and proteges in the fleet instead. This just felt like giving up on wheels and even new it felt old underneath.

Grand Am - The official car of the rural high school punk who liked to talk smack about how fast his ram air supercharged Grand Am was, “so fast it could beat a mustang so easy man!”

Skylark - Yeesh

Oldsmobile Achiva - no...it wasn’t

And it goes on. Honestly I can’t say they didn’t do their jobs, but cars like these set the bar for American cars and it wasn’t high. Frankly more than anything this one is a tiny bit irrational. I know the 3400 was a good motor and I know they weren’t the biggest heaps on the road. And yet...I just can’t stand these. everytime I see one is like remembering that REALLY awkward moment on that date when you were a teen...you know, the one you want to forget but it hangs in there? That one. Its in the past, It can’t hurt me anymore...so why wont it go away.

Thanks for sticking this week out with me. Next week will be a little easier, since I no longer have to think of cars I hate.

DISCUSSION (23)

jkm7680 > HammerheadFistpunch
04/29/2017 at 10:02

Malipoo

Alfalfa > HammerheadFistpunch
04/29/2017 at 10:06

“Idrove one of these for a few years off and on and truthfully even though it was a step up, I preferred the smaller corollas and proteges in the fleet instead.”

I’ve got a pretty good guess as to where this happened...

EL_ULY > HammerheadFistpunch
04/29/2017 at 10:08

out of all the car’s i’ve ever owned, not one could beat a V6 N body lol. Those cars were fun af in V6. My sister bought a Grand-Am GT as her first new car in 2002. Such a cool ride, we all liked it a lot.

Kinja'd!!!

Cool mega styled interior at the time. It had a badass radio also. Chingos de bottom end.

Kinja'd!!!

WilliamsSW > HammerheadFistpunch
04/29/2017 at 10:09

These cars represent what GM was doing wrong in so many ways.

But what amazes me is how many of these things are still on the road here around Chicago. Just yesterday I saw a Skylark and a Cutlass. Grand Ams are everywhere. Without exception, they’re all trashed, rusting, dented etc. Yet they roll on like post-apocalyptic cockroaches.

HammerheadFistpunch > Alfalfa
04/29/2017 at 10:12

Yup

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > HammerheadFistpunch
04/29/2017 at 10:13

I hate these things double because when I had my truck some a-hole in one swiped me while I was stopped waiting in a center turn lane causing damage just under my deductible and I never saw a penny from him. Also I still can’t believe the Malibu was MT’s 1997 CoTY.

pip bip - choose Corrour > HammerheadFistpunch
04/29/2017 at 10:25

i’m lucky we never got any of them here to find out how awful you make them out to be.

WilliamsSW > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
04/29/2017 at 10:26

COTY is littered with bad cars that seemed like a good idea at the time.

But yeah, that’s brutal.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > WilliamsSW
04/29/2017 at 10:49

Yeah I mentioned in another thread a few days ago that also in 1997 C&D had the Dodge Stratus on their 10Best list.

WilliamsSW > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
04/29/2017 at 10:54

Oof. So 1997 was a terrible year for cars, clearly.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > WilliamsSW
04/29/2017 at 10:55

Hey 1997 was the debut of the VehiCROSS. But we also got the Catera that year, so...

WilliamsSW > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
04/29/2017 at 10:57

Vega, Mustang II, Chevy Citation, Renault Alliance, Plymouth Volare, Plymouth Horizon, PT Cruiser - all were COTY.

WilliamsSW > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
04/29/2017 at 11:18

That’s a plus for the Vehicross at least. Saw one of those the other day. Looked nice, too-

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > WilliamsSW
04/29/2017 at 11:19

Yeah pretty much all crap. Tho TBH I don’t think th PT Cruiser was that bad when new compared to what else was on the market. Not CoTY-worthy maybe, but before the big rise of small crossovers it was a cleverly packaged vehicle and it was pretty inexpensive. The Fiat-500-esque interior trim painted to match the exterior was cheap but fun. It’s easy to look back now a day they were unreliable and behind the competition but the first year or two on the market it was a good value if you didn’t hate the styling.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > WilliamsSW
04/29/2017 at 11:20

Yeah they are definitely more fondly remembered now than when new.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > HammerheadFistpunch
04/29/2017 at 11:32

The Grand Am isn’t a great car by any means, but I still enjoy driving my brother’s for some reason. I don’t know if it’s because his has actually been taken care of unlike every other N-body in existence, but it feels light and chuckable (that could be thanks to having a light all aluminum 4 pot over the front wheels instead of an iron V6 like most got) and the 140hp EcoTec let’s you drive at 10/10 constantly without getting in trouble but doesnt feel dangerously slow.

It’s fun to beat on is what I guess I’m getting after. It takes it and just keeps going but doesn’t feel totally lifeless in the process.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > HammerheadFistpunch
04/29/2017 at 11:38

When my first car’s transmission went my Dad saw one of these Oldsmobiles for sale and suggested I buy it. I laughed because I thought he was joking.

Kinja'd!!!

I’m very glad I held out and bought a 99 Civic instead.

Also those Grand Am GTs are the doucheist cars known to man.

LastFirstMI is my name > HammerheadFistpunch
04/29/2017 at 12:10

When the local GM plant closed a few years ago, the newspaper ran a nice commemorative article on all the cars that had been built there. I thought “no wonder it’s closing, I wouldn’t buy any of those!” I always felt bad for the workers, not their fault.

The list included:

Chevy Citation

Chevy Celebrity

Pontiac 6000

Cutlass Ciera

Chevy Malibu

Trailblazer/Envoy

https://www.google.com/amp/m.newsok.com/article/2920844/amp

Dave the car guy , still here > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
04/29/2017 at 12:25

I often wonder who at MT got the pay off money. They picked a lot of bad cars.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > WilliamsSW
04/29/2017 at 12:26

“A GM car will run poorly longer than most cars will run at all”

Dave the car guy , still here > HammerheadFistpunch
04/29/2017 at 12:28

I still sell parts for them almost every week and the owners all complain about the price of anything they need. They are cheap cars for cheap people, I cringe from the moment they let me know what they are driving.

WilliamsSW > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch
04/29/2017 at 12:53

That makes absolutely no sense.

Yet I believe it’s true.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > WilliamsSW
04/29/2017 at 13:07

I felt the same way the first time I heard it too